How speaking up in 2014 has led Dr. Jamie Kulaga to gaining confidence in 2015
By Dr. Jaime Kulaga
In order to move up personally and professionally, sometimes you have to be aggressive. At times, you have to persuade, convince and even be pushy. As a woman, being aggressive isn’t always the best option. Maybe it’s taboo, maybe it’s uncomfortable, or maybe you just don’t want to be aggressive.
Something that I have found works for women in place of being “aggressive” is being confident. A woman exudes a certain light when she walks into a room confidently. And this doesn’t necessarily mean that she knows everything or everybody; it just means that she is confident in her abilities to communicate in any given situation. The ability to be confident and communicate effectively leads to more opportunities and ultimately more successes across all areas of life.
This is why in 2015 my resolution is to become more confident in myself. Last year, my resolution was to speak up in more situations. Quickly, I noticed that most people will say “yes” to your request or will go out of their way to help you in small and big ways. Speaking up, receiving help and teaching myself how to communicate began to increase my confidence.
I slowly began to evolve into someone that others turned to. I noticed a correlation between confidence and being a person of influence. This year, I plan to continue to speak up. But in order to continue building my confidence, I will start speaking up to myself in a more positive way.
Sometimes I push myself too much. Sometimes I get down on myself, even when I succeed. Something may have worked out in my favor, but I still always think that I could have done more, been more and tried harder. Then, when I do achieve something great, often I have found that I am not proud of myself.
Taking more time to talk nicely to myself and give myself credit for my accomplishments will increase my confidence. I also will take time to reflect on everything I did to become successful in a certain situation and stop to enjoy it. Reflecting more on my abilities, too, will increase the confidence I have in myself.
Last, I will not compare myself to others. I am aware that I do not know the pasts of people and their intimate lives in the present. I can’t compare myself to people in the media, on social media or even passers-by. My life is different, and I am on a different journey. I need to take a step back and compare myself to myself, and what I know I can and cannot do.
The better I do this, the more I stay in line with living my values, which brings me peace and confidence. This behavior also brings me to a place where I can be more grateful and confident in what I have right at my very hands each and every day.
It is my hope that in 2015 my confidence will continue to attract more people that I can help, mentor or coach. Confidence: the key to personal and professional success.
Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a certified life coach, licensed mental health counselor and motivational speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book “The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance,” to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in work-life balance. For more information, visit http://www.mindfulrehab.com.